This week I've been back in the classroom teaching a group of primary and junior teachers. I had flashbacks while I was in the classroom but they were surprisingly pleasant. They are only little things but they have helped me realise how far I’ve come.
The first flashback came when my colleagues were looking at a teddy I had on my desk; I said that I might keep it there for the rest of the day as a mascot. A few seconds later, I was suddenly transported back in time to my old school gym where I took my school exams aged 16; sat on my desk was a little teddy as a mascot.
The second flashback came a few hours later when I was monitoring my adult students having fun and getting excited while playing snakes and ladders. It looked as though they were having such a good time that I didn’t want to stop them, this took me back to my school days and how at exactly the same time (3.20pm) I would often not want the day or activity to end. I always loved the game snakes and ladders too!
Writing at the blackboard, another flashback appeared and I was back in my brother’s bedroom writing on a little blackboard. I suddenly remembered how my brother and I would play at being teachers and students. We had a desk, blackboard and even set each other homework!
I guess these are good flashbacks, which is a positive sign. Is this what happens when we have released and dealt with all the bad memories? I sincerely hope so, having these memories is quite comforting and allows me to connect even more with that girl who became lost at 16.