The Blemished Rose

I’ve decided to write a follow-up post about my experience of EMDR therapy. I want to share my experience as much as possible in the hope that other survivors will become aware of how beneficial EMDR can be. I didn’t know anything about EMDR prior to my counsellor suggesting it but when I did my own research, I found it quite fascinating.                         I’m going to try to analyse my own case. I was sexually abused repeatedly over many years so my natural coping mechanisms became overloaded. As a result, the memories remained frozen in my brain and unprocessed, in a raw form. Every time I heard the perpetrator's name I would experience painful feelings such as panic and anger, those feelings were constantly triggered and I was unable to live in the present. EMDR enabled me to process the traumatic memories in a natural way and has enabled me to live in the present again.             ...

Over the past 4 months I’ve been having counselling sessions due to the fact that I’ve been involuntarily living in the past. The biggest trigger I have had to deal with has been mention of the abuser, which has often caught me unawares. For most of the year I have been on tenterhooks, wondering when the perpetrator’s name would be mentioned. Due to these common occurrences, I significantly lost confidence and had low self-esteem.           I’ve often wondered why the human body can heal itself from physical wounds whereas mental wounds are harder to heal. That’s why counselling of any kind is extremely beneficial and being in control of our mental health is very important. I am so grateful to my counsellor who suggested EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing). EMDR is quite amazing as it assists the natural healing ability of the body.               ...

Though I’m not tremendously religious, I’ve been known to fast at Easter time. This year I decided to do a spiritual fast again and so far, it’s been very insightful. What I’ve noticed in the past is just how greedy some people can be and how much people take luxuries for granted. Just the other day I had lunch in a place where a buffet was available. As I sat writing and mainly drinking coffee, I couldn’t help but stare at the stacks of food people were piling onto their plates. There was enough food to feed an entire village of poor people but instead it was feeding a small group of hungry vultures. I didn’t even get the urge to splurge and stuff my face, instead I just lost my appetite. I think that fasting is a great way to discipline oneself and realise how fortunate we are to have food and water, some are not as fortunate. Although I’m on a good wage and live in a nice flat, I am still very grateful for what I have and realise that one day it could all change and I could have n...