The Blemished Rose

As I’ve previously mentioned in posts, I’ve reignited my passion for the things I loved doing as a child, such as: writing poetry and songs, drawing, taking photos and dancing. Ballet was always my first passion and I started training at 4 years old. I’ve started doing more ballet recently for pure enjoyment and because it’s such a good form of physical exercise. As I’ve started remembering steps and things I learnt, I’ve also started remembering things I experienced in the dance world. I have fond memories of dance competitions I took part in and a memory of an adjudicator referring to me as “a budding little dancer.” It was when I got older that I experienced how cutthroat the theatre world really can be. A theatre performance can seem so glamorous with all the fancy costumes, dazzling smiles and dramatic lighting but the real drama often happens behind the scenes in a world that is so competitive. Performers can be so critical of one another, as well as themselves, and won’t hesitat...

There are many issues I’ve had to work through, some of which I’m still challenged with today. I’ve found it useful if I can analyze why I feel certain emotions in different situations and the triggers that can cause my mood to change so quickly. In a previous post, I wrote about the fact that bathrooms are a huge trigger. To recap, as a child I’d frequently be on the toilet and the abuser would be outside the door trying to come in (my cousin would often be in the room with me, holding the door). Bathrooms have been a challenge but I’ve found a few ways to make it easier, such as: leaving the bathroom door open when at home or only using toilets I’ve used before and feel comfortable with. My biggest challenge has probably been here in China, where I live. The toilets here are often dirty, squat toilets and, in schools, they rarely have a door. I’ve visited many schools around China for my job and if I need to use the bathroom, I don’t know what to expect until I get there. A rece...

Are all people in the world equal? I believe that everyone was created with the same pair of hands or potter's wheel. We are all the same in my eyes and I think in the eyes of God. I believe that everyone’s special. It’s individuals who make their own assumptions about who’s special and who’s not. Everyone’s equal as everyone’s been given one thing that they have in common- a life. How people choose to live the special life they’ve been given is up to them. Everyone can do whatever they want in life no matter where they were born or how bad their childhood was. I think that even physical disability can’t hold people back. People are not all equal in their size, race, religion, intelligence but I think that this does not preclude people from treating others with kindness and respect. Why do some people think they are superior to others? I feel that it usually boils down to insecurity or something that they are lacking. Giving off an air of superiority or trying to put p...