The Blemished Rose

I’ve previously written about the effects of child abuse and the years it can take to heal from traumatic experiences. It takes a lot of courage for a survivor to disclose abuse and seek help. In fact, I was recently surprised to read that the average duration between the start of abuse and accessing support is 20 years. When I worked out the maths in my head I realised that in my case it was 21 years.    Unfortunately for many abuse survivors who choose to disclose their past with family or friends, they may be disbelieved, blamed or experience ignorant responses. These reactions to a survivors’ accounts or feelings are often more damaging than the initial abuse and can result in a survivor feeling worse. This is also referred to as secondary wounding    Upon reflection I realise that I have been repeatedly traumatised throughout my life as a result of peoples’ insensitivity and lack of understanding about abuse. As a result of my disclosure, I experienced a...

Following the meeting with my local MP, I have been forwarded the response by Alistair Burt (Minister of State for Community and Social Care). In the letter he states that improving mental health and treating mental illness are key priorities for NHS England. One of the core objectives is to put mental health on a par with physical health, and to close the gap between people with mental health problems and the population as a whole. According to Mr Burt, there is no cap on the number of counselling sessions per person. He goes on to say that whilst the Department of Health is responsible for setting the strategic direction of health and social care, local clinical commissioning groups are responsible for commissioning therapy sessions based on local need. He advised me to contact my local NHS with my concerns.  I have spoken with about 10 people in various parts of the UK who have also previously had counselling via the NHS. All of these people were offered a maximum of 6 c...

I feel the need to write a post today due to the injustice that continues to happen in the world. The recent UK scandal involving Jimmy Savile is sickening, not only the way he abused his power and took advantage of vulnerable children, but also the fact that many people turned a blind eye. I believe that anyone who knows of abuse taking place but doesn’t intervene, should also be blamed for the wrongdoing; they are accomplices in a crime. My aunt, for example, knew I was abused but let it continue year after year. I blame her for not having the courage to confront her brother or report him. I really feel for the hundreds of people who were abused by Savile years ago but I admire their strength for coming forward. I only hope that they are compensated with the earnings that the criminal didn’t deserve. I also respect Savile’s family for removing his gravestone. In turn, it has made me angry to think that some of my family paid for a headstone for my abuser. I do not believe he, or ...

Everyone experiences ups and downs in life, as they say, it's like a rollercoaster. Sometimes I wonder why we are thrown certain obstacles that we have to tackle; perhaps they help us build up strength so that next time it's not as difficult to jump over the hurdle. Something that seems to be constantly thrown in my face though is happy families. I must admit that sometimes it's hard to face something I never had and possibly never will have. Coming from a disjointed family makes it rather difficult seeing others who appear to be so happy. I watched a movie today that featured a large family. Although they had clearly been through a lot together, watching them have fun didn't make me laugh but made me feel sad. They went through bad times together but spoke openly about their feelings and emotions, something my family could never do. In my family, feelings were expressed through shouting, violence, anger and arguments. It was a lot of hot air for nothing that left e...