The Blemished Rose

Over the years I have had therapy with a number of counsellors and my experiences have varied. I feel that I am now at a point where I am able to reflect on what worked well for me and what didn’t. In this post I’d like to include some ideas for counsellors who are considering working with survivors of abuse and trauma. First session Consider the fact that the client may have never spoken about the abuse until the first session. Therefore, be mindful of how much information you ask of the client as you don’t want to re-traumatize. The client may have trust issues so a therapist needs to work towards building a good rapport and a trusting relationship. I would certainly advise against asking too many questions, which may feel like an interrogation to the client, and it might make the client feel judged and anxious. Comfort Tell your client that they can have comfort breaks if they wish. Anxiety can lead to an increased need to go to the toilet, and unfortunately if a cou...

In my previous post I wrote about self-portraits and how effective they can be for building self-esteem. For a couple of years now I’ve wanted to work with photographers, this year I finally plucked up the courage and went for it. It wasn’t an easy thing to do initially, especially as trusting people isn’t an easy thing for me to do, but I’m glad that I decided to take the plunge. I’ve certainly seen and experienced a lot in the modelling world this year, and there are some things that have really appalled me. For example, on a forum, a 24 year old lady expressed her desire to be a model only to be told by a photographer that she shouldn’t bother as she’s too old. I couldn’t believe what I read! 24 too old? I think it’s a young age, so young in fact that she might be influenced by a comment like that and give up. Regarding the trust issue, unfortunately, it hasn’t all been plain sailing and I’ve dealt with some unreliable people. It’s not simply a case of trusting someone to turn u...

Friends will: be there for you in times of need pick you up when you fall, reply to messages you might send and sometimes give you a call. Make you smile when you’re feeling low, give you a helping hand listen to you, offer advice and pull your head from the sand. Friends won’t: forget you in your times of need, let you fall to the ground ignore the things you want to say and make you feel like you’ve drowned. Make you cry and feel at a loss selfishly turn their back, give you no time but heartache and pain that make you go off track Friends should be like a plank of wood sturdy, supportive and strong, make you feel good when you do things right and guide you when you are wrong.

There are a number of subjects I'd like to write about in the next couple of posts. Seeing as I live in the land of lies, I figured I'd start with the topic of lies and betrayal. In just 33 years of my life so far, I've seen so much, been through so much and learnt lots of things about people and the world. I dread to think how many times I've been lied to in those 33 years. Living in a country where it's common practice to lie to save face can be tough for someone who has issues trusting people. Of course, people all around the world lie for a variety of reasons but some lies are more damaging or hurtful than others.. When I think of the topic of lies and betrayal, one life experience always springs to mind. It all started one night when I was at a house party with a friend. I hardly drank any alcohol but became increasingly drowsy and eventually passed out. The next morning my friend and I awoke, as I got up from the bed I noticed that my tights were ripped...